Separation Coaching

Early interventions

Separation is a difficult and confusing time for families. There are life-changing decisions to be made, all while processing grief and loss of the relationship. You are moving from a time where you made joint decisions, to making decisions for yourselves. This alone can be very confronting time for parents and comes with a lot of uncertainty and fears about the future.

This change can be very emotional, and sometimes traumatic time for children. Decisions are being made which deeply affect them. They are concerned about how they will see each of you. They are worried about the parent who is moving out and there is a great deal of fear and uncertainty in their lives about where they will live.

Children are often afraid about losing the love of one parent, or how they will be able to express their love, especially when there are arguments between you. Children have a high need for a sense of security.

What is a workable parenting arrangement that will support your children’s emotional needs, as well as their practical needs?

Separation Coaching is a preventative approach to creating agreements that work for you and your family before they become matters of dispute in court.

Taking well thought out steps early can help eliminate much of the confusion and concerns as you and your children take time to settle into your new family structure of parenting together while living apart. When done in the early phases of separation this process will establish clear boundaries and expectations, giving you your best chance for a more amicable co-parenting relationship.

Separation Coaching works on the principles of fairness and respect for each other as parents, with emphasis on respecting the children’s needs and requirements in your decision making. 

Most parents want to avoid the emotionally and financially draining family law system. However, with few other options available to them, when they seek advice, they become encouraged and invested in a one-sided outcome. When this happens, despite even the best intentions, the focus on children can be lost.

Children’s outcomes after separation are vastly improved their emotional needs are being respected and met by both parents.

Separation Coaching is most suited for parents who

  • need support creating a parenting agreement which supports their children’s emotional needs;
  • would benefit from a neutral third party who can give professional insights without excessive costs.
  • are willing to consider options and alternate child-focused perspectives;
  • are committed to their children’s needs as a priority.

As a pre-requisite, parents who are considering separation coaching are required to have completed the online Parenting After Separation Course prior to commencement.

How does it work?

Each parent is interviewed separately prior to commencement. With guidelines and process agreements in place, we then meet either online via Zoom. If you are in the Sydney area, we may be able to meet in person. You work together to set the agenda items to be discussed, and we begin.

Requirements for frequency can be discussed prior to commencement. This is an organic process, respecting each family has unique circumstances. It is usually recommended that we progress the first few sessions in a short time frame and then can reduce the frequency to monthly or bi-monthly as you begin to transition to the agreed plans.

Depending on your family needs, it may be recommended that your children meet with a ‘child consultant’. This can be a powerful step to help your children express their views. This does not mean they choose or there is pressure on them to make decisions. It simply means that you can form your decisions while considering their views, shared in a safe and supportive environment.

Working with both parents together, in a child-focused manner, helps to eliminate the unnecessary added conflict that the family court system brings. Of course, you can still seek legal advice, but with a clear plan when you meet with them, you will avoid the costly family law system.