Recommended Reading

BIFF for coparent communication – Bill Eddy

In divorce and co-parenting, not only do parents need to deal with their own emotions, they may be faced with a daily barrages of hostile calls, texts, social media blasts, and/or emails. How can you regain a sense of control and peace for your own sake and for the kids?

For more than a decade, the BIFF method of responding to hostile and misinforming emails, texts and conversations, has grown in use by thousands of people dealing with a person with a high conflict personality. This third book in the BIFF Communication series is especially devoted to parents dealing with issues in and after separation and divorce as they co-parent their children, complete with instructions in the four-step BIFF method and numerous examples for dealing with co-parent situations.

When parents use this approach, not only do they feel good about their end of the written or verbal conversation, but it tends to influence the other parent to communicate more productively as well. While it’s simple and practical, it’s not natural for most of us because we are hooked by the emotional intensity. This book can help you reduce the conflict and regain your sanity by learning what to write and what not to write. Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm. The BIFF is a communication game changer–it works

Taking the war out of words – Sharon Strand-Ellison

In this groundbreaking book, Sharon Ellison takes us to the root of our communication problems, showing us how defensiveness functions in our lives and can lead to hurtful power struggles. Using her Powerful Non-Defensive Communication process, you can express yourself with a compelling blend of vulnerability and honesty. “Taking the War Out of Our Words” provides us with vital tools for healing conflict, enhancing self-esteem, becoming more open and spontaneous, strengthening relationships, transforming organizations, and guiding the way toward peace in our global community.

Surviving Your Split – Lucy Mannering and Rebekah Mannering

Welcome to the club that you never wanted to join. You aren’t alone: 94,000 Australians get divorced every year, and this doesn’t include de facto relationships, which are just about identical in the eyes of the Family Court.

Of all major life events that mess you around, divorce comes in at number two, just behind the death of a spouse. It’s a scary, confusing time.

But you will get through this. Authors and sisters Rebekah and Lucy Mannering did. Rebekah separated from her first husband four months before Lucy separated from hers. As lawyers who grew up in a family of lawyers, even they felt confronted by their strange new world.

Surviving Your Split is the book they wished they’d had. Practical and humorous, it’s the sort of guidance you’d get if your best friend was a family lawyer. It’s for everyone who needs help to navigate the legal minefield of divorce, and wants some tips on how to get through it with their life relatively intact—and the possibility of creating an even better, happier life at the other side.

Surviving Your Split aims to save you money by skilling you up and ensuring the best outcome for you and your family. It is broken into bite-size information including:

  • surviving the first few days
  • telling your children and extended family
  • dealing with the Family Court system
  • negotiating a property settlement
  • and a resource list

Self Centred Co-parenting – Managing an Uncooperative Co-parent, by Kathleen Bird

Parents who live separately are frustrated when the other parent is uncooperative. Self-centered Co-parenting is an effective approach for empowering frustrated parents to engage in quality parenting and decision-making that is not dependent on cooperation of the co-parent. Five strategies assist a parent to focus on what is in the parent’s own control to raise a child, engage in problem-solving, and have productive interactions with the other parent. An easy to read format incorporates steps, tips, and examples that helps a parent quickly develop effective practices. Expanded explanation of the underlying concepts are also included.

Stop Walking On Egg Shells

Do you feel manipulated, controlled, or lied to? Are you the focus of intense, violent, and irrational rages? Do you feel you are ‘walking on eggshells’ to avoid the next confrontation? If the answer is ‘yes,’ someone you care about may have borderline personality disorder (BPD)—a mood disorder that causes negative self-image, emotional instability, and difficulty with interpersonal relationships.

Stop Walking on Eggshells has already helped more than a million people with friends and family members suffering from BPD understand this difficult disorder, set boundaries, and help their loved ones stop relying on dangerous BPD behaviors. This fully revised third edition has been updated with the very latest BPD research on comorbidity, extensive new information about narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), the effectiveness of schema therapy, and coping and communication skills you can use to stabilize your relationship with the BPD or NPD sufferer in your life.

Splitting – Protecting Yourself While Divorcing A Borderline or Narcissist

Are you divorcing someone who’s making the process as difficult as possible? Are they sending you nasty emails, falsifying the truth, putting your children in the middle, abusing you, or abusing the system? Are they “persuasive blamers,” manipulating and fooling court personnel to get them on their side? If so, you need this book.