In David’s story, his coparent had commenced a new intimate relationship that resulted in her moving 3000km’s away with their son, without consultation or consent.
Upon making her decision the mother also changed her behaviours in and around their current workable coparenting relationship. According to David, she became dogmatic and dictating what the terms would be. He was forced to attempt Skype calls with his son, that at aged 3, were extremely difficult.
He felt no option but to move closer to where his child was now residing, and so resigned from his job and moved interstate. Suitable work was hard for him to find after this move and it was a very difficult and stressful time for him to find a job where he could also care for his son and financially support him and himself.
Communication was tense and difficult and after extended emails they eventually established a routine of every second weekend visits.
About 12 months into this arrangement in which David often had to endure 14 hour commutes to get home on time for his scheduled time, things changed for the better. They now were able to communicate via text and one day, they together decided that the hostility and negativity needed to end.
They were able to talk through dietary habits, school requirements and other household routines so there was some consistency for their young son. Over this time David was also introduced to his son’s mothers new partner and they found new common ground.
David acknowledged to me that there was significant sacrifices he had to make in order to eventually reach this outcome. He was forced to move against his will, or be removed from his child’s life. When he did move, life was still excruciatingly difficult at times.
However, with time and space and keeping a level head they have managed to navigate to now cooperatively coparenting their young son.
This was due to the good grace of David’s nature. However, it was hurtful and unnecessary heartache for him. Had his son’s mother communicated with him, much of this could have been alleviated. Had he chosen to take it to court, he had the possibilility to force her to relocate.
Before you make big decisions, think very carefuly. And always consider the children’s relationship with both their parents.