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Children’s Corner: Helping Kids Through Separation | Parenting After Separation

Welcome to our Children’s Corner

Helping parents support their children through separation and change.

Children don’t need all the adult details of a separation, but they do need clear, age-appropriate reassurance that they are safe, loved, and not to blame. The resources in this section help parents start those conversations with confidence.

One of the most common things we hear from parents we work with is that they don’t know what to say to their children. They know they need to say something, but the right words feel impossible to find when they’re already dealing with so much themselves.

That’s what this page is for. We’ve pulled together trusted, age-appropriate resources from the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia (FCFCOA) to give you a starting point. These are tools I recommend to the parents I support, and they work.

Click Here to Visit the Kids Corner on the FCFCOA Website

Understanding What Children Need

Helping Kids Feel Safe, Informed and Supported

When families separate, children often sense that something has changed — even if they don’t fully understand what’s happening. They may feel worried about where they’ll live, how often they’ll see each parent, or whether the separation is somehow their fault.

As parents, the most powerful thing you can offer is a sense of safety and emotional stability. Children don’t need to know every detail or hear adult issues, but they do need clear, age-appropriate explanations that help them make sense of their world. Calm, consistent communication tells them that even though family life looks different, they are still loved and cared for by both parents.

Here are a few key ways to support your child through this transition:

  • Keep communication simple and honest. Use language that matches your child’s age and understanding. It’s okay to say you don’t have all the answers yet.

  • Reassure them it’s not their fault. Many children quietly worry that they caused the separation. Regularly reminding them it’s an adult decision can bring comfort.

  • Maintain routines where possible. Predictable daily habits — bedtime, meals, school drop-offs — help children feel grounded when other parts of life feel uncertain.

  • Encourage questions and listen carefully. Let your child express feelings without judgment. Listening often matters more than having perfect answers.

  • Work together as co-parents. When children see respectful communication between parents, it reinforces their sense of safety and belonging.

The FCFCOA Kids’ Corner is a great resource to help you start these conversations. It provides short videos, stories, and explanations that describe court processes and family changes in a friendly, easy-to-understand way. Watching or reading together can open gentle, supportive discussions about what separation means and reassure your child that they are not alone in this experience.

Click Here to Visit the Kids Corner on the FCFCOA Website

Using Videos to Start Conversations

Watch Together, Talk Together

When family life changes, children often pick up on the tension or uncertainty around them, even if they don’t fully grasp what’s happening. They may wonder what their days will look like, where they’ll stay, or whether they’ve done something to cause the separation. These thoughts can make them feel anxious or unsettled — even when they don’t say it out loud.

At this stage, what children need most is comfort, clarity, and reassurance. They don’t require the adult details of separation, but they do benefit from gentle explanations and a calm presence. Letting them know they are loved, safe, and not responsible for what’s happening helps them feel more secure and able to adjust.

Watch the video below – created by the FCFCOA – with your child to help them understand what happens when families go through separation.
This short, child-friendly video introduces the idea of family change, explains what the Court does, and reassures children that separation is an adult issue, not something they caused.

You can watch more videos from the FCFCOA by clicking the link below

Click Here to Visit the Kids Corner on the FCFCOA Website

Building Emotional Understanding

Talking About Feelings

Children may feel sadness, anger, guilt, relief, or confusion during and after a separation, sometimes all at once, and sometimes in ways that seem to contradict each other. All of that is normal.

What I often hear from parents is that their child seems ‘fine’ and then has a meltdown over something small. That’s often not about the small thing. Children regulate their big emotions through their behaviour, and sometimes the feelings about the family change come out sideways.

Try this with your child after looking at the FCFCOA feelings resources:

  • Ask which feelings sound true for them.
  • Let them know it’s okay to have all kinds of feelings including ones that seem contradictory.
  • Reflect what you hear: ‘It sounds like you’ve been feeling really sad about not seeing Dad as much.’
  • Remind them: ‘You are loved. And none of this is your fault.’
 

Want to learn more about supporting your children through separation? Our Tuning Into Kids and Circle of Security Parenting programs are specifically designed for separated parents. 

This page was created by Parenting After Separation to help families access child-friendly resources from the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.

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